burstmodes | ic inbox

ic inbox

text & pics | audio | video | action

( this is a disaster.

noct is gone, and gladio's racked with guilt. by now he thought he was strong enough to keep him protected. seems that's not the case. once again he's failed. loss tears at his insides like a hungry coeurl, forcing him to face his fears. he doesn't like it.

he's aware these things can happen. he's heard people talk about it. he should've prepared himself for it. yet, it still feels like it's his fault that noct is gone. some shield to the crown. can't even keep him in his sights. can't even protect those he cares so deeply about.

gladio doesn't stay in the room. he doesn't want to deal with anyone while he's in this thunderous mood. even like this he knows he doesn't need to subject prompto or ignis to his sour grapes. there's no set destination, but he walks around for a while. eventually takes his frustrations out at the gym and breaks more than his fair share of practice weapons.

why does he keep losing? it feels as if his world is falling apart, breaking down at the seams, and gladio's doing what he can to keep himself stitched together. noct being gone throws everything back into perspective. reality is an ugly, ugly mistress. what's he supposed to do now? how is noct going to accomplish anything back in insomnia with the rest of them here? how is he going to survive it alone? they were supposed to return together.

by the time he's nearly forced from the training area, he's exhausted -- physically and emotionally. he showers at the gym before deciding he needs to go back to the room, to his friend and his...something. whatever prompto is to him. he's spent time thinking about that today, too. how could he not with the continuous loss shoved in his face? he's held back and kept things to himself, and...that's cowardly. that's not how gladio does things. this shouldn't be any different. still...he doesn't want to ruin what they have. but, prompto's important to him in a brand new way, and he's noct's best friend. no question he's hurting, too.

so, gladio returns and leaves some things in his room before he crosses over to prompto's door. it's late enough that he might be sleeping, but gladio knows he's likely still awake. if he's even in his room at all. gently he raps his knuckles against the door before he just slips inside. there's a prompto sized lump on the bed, so. there's that, at least. gladio doesn't even hesitate before climbing in bed with him and curling around him. he wraps an arm around prompto to just...hold him close. as close as he can. for a bit he tucks his face against prompto's hair, and it tickles his nose. all gladio can do is breathe him in and selfishly take comfort from the warmth of his body. when he finally speaks, his voice is a low, rumbly murmur. )

Hey.

[ he can't seem to focus on anything.

not that he's ever paying attention to important things a lot of the time, but this is something he should have noticed. he could have been a better friend, maybe scheduled more things to do with noct so he knew... knew what? that he cared? that he could do better? all this stuff is just messing with his head, and in the first few hours when he really knew noct was gone, prompto couldn't breathe. he nearly has a panic attack out in the middle of one of the busier parts of the station, and he locks himself in some restaurant's bathroom to cry. at least there isn't any urge to actually scream, though the feeling continues to build and build in his chest. (later, he might remember wandering around for another hour or two, lost in his own head.)

somehow, he ends up back in the room and locks the door to his own. he doesn't want ignis seeing him like this, and he definitely doesn't want gladio to see. and for a while, he sits on the floor and clicks through the pictures on his camera. things from back home—a bunch of them in the regalia, noct and kenny the crow at some dinner, noct at camp. noct, noct, noct. he cries for the second time with his arms wrapped around his legs, face pressed to his knees, and he's so worn out that crawling up into his bed feels impossible. prompto does leave once to wash his face, but then, numb all the way through, he slips under the blankets to sulk, smothering the soft, little sounds he makes into his pillow.

maybe he falls asleep. everything's so hazy, it's hard to tell.

but when he feels gladio's arms around him, he immediately presses back into him. just for a second, just to concentrate on something that isn't the huge empty space in his chest, and it's such a relief to know that he hadn't been left completely. he bites at his bottom lip until it almost stings. does he want to say anything? should he put that on gladio when he knows he's probably as upset as he is? he thinks he must be handling it better though; there's no way he can tell gladio he's cried enough for everyone here. but he's weak, and prompto rolls over, pressing his face into his chest. he wishes he was just... better. at everything. ]

What are we gonna do? [ it's the first thing he's said all day, and his voice hurts. his eyes hurt, his heart. ] I don't know what to do.

( he's not expecting prompto to turn over to face him, but he adjusts and gets a better hold on him this way. his arm will likely go numb soon, but it's fine. it's better this way. gladio immediately pushes his hand under prompto's shirt to lay flat against his skin. that contact of skin on skin is something he needs. the comfort of someone else, the warmth of someone he cares about penetrates him to the bone. he thinks it might help prompto, too. even just a little bit.

gladio can tell he's been crying just from the sound of his voice. it makes him feel guilty that he stayed away for so long. gladio needs time to process things, knows ignis doesn't like to show when things really bother him, but prompto isn't like them. he requires an entirely different sort of support system. )

We'll get through it. One step at a time.

( really not the best advice, but he doesn't want prompto to feel like the situation is hopeless. because it's not. )

Look...

( he trails off, unsure of what to really say. gladio struggles in silence for a few short moments. there's no way to make any of this better right away. one day at a time is what they have to do. )

It's not easy when you lose somebody you care about.

( his tone is still low, but it rasps a little bit. he feels that vice around his throat and can't stand it. gladio swallows, breathes, moves his hand up to gently pet prompto's head, fingers threading through his hair. just can't think about his own losses now, he's got to focus on prompto. )

It hurts, I know. We'll get each other through it.

[ it's the way he says those things that jar prompto back to reality. he's talking like noct is... like he's really gone, and prompto can't stand it. he doesn't want to think about what a world would be like where noct isn't in it, and it just reminds him of all the other things they still have to do back home. how he isn't working hard enough to get them there. that's not something he wants to think about with noct not being here anymore, and he swallows the lump in his throat, sucking in a breath and hoping to find some steady calm in this storm that's brewing over them.

even gladio's touch doesn't feel comforting, but he doubts that's really for him. he's searching for something, and prompto wants to give it to him, pressing into the touch before dropping his hand down to gently cup his arm. he isn't looking at him, isn't brave enough to do that just yet. ]

You care about him too. [ it's the first time he's said something like that aloud, wonders what gladio will do now that it's out there. ] But you know how he is. Always gotta do somethin' first... [ his voice is even softer, tilting his head to nuzzle against him. gladio's always so warm. ] You think he made it back okay?

[ not that he wants to talk about this either, but he figures it'll help. he doesn't know what it's like when people disappear from here, though he's heard a couple of things. the messed up thing is that he could even come back again, and prompto doesn't know if he wants that or not. at least, if he was home in eos, he could be doing something. just... hopefully not getting into trouble. slowly, prompto shifts to get even closer, wanting to sink into gladio and stay like this for as long as he'll let him. ]

Um – d'you think we'll be next? [ prompto's fingers stroke up his arm, pausing before he speaks. it's the one thing he fears above almost everything else. ] I don't wanna forget any of this.

( this is exactly what he's been trying not to think about. well, this and everything else. he doesn't want to make this about him, and it feels like when he thinks about his losses and his failures and his whatever that it's making the real issue lose all sorts of meaning. he came here because he knows prompto needs the support. he also came here because he needs it, too.

but, more than that, it's making him face all the questions about them. what they are. he feels bad to shift the focus away to them and what's going on between them, but...

but, honestly? if not now, would he ever say anything?

gladio shifts into a little more of a comfortable position when prompto squirms even closer. he wishes they could just sort of sink into one another and forget about everything for a while. he tips his head down flat against prompto's head, nuzzles against his hair before he ruffles it a little with his hand. )

Yeah, 'course I care about him. ( there's a hint of a smile in his words, even if it doesn't make it to his face. this he has to respond to before everything else. maybe it'll make the silly guilt abate at turning the tables to gladio and prompto's lives. ) He's a stubborn pain in the ass. I'm sure he's fine.

( he falls silent and takes a deep breath. prompto's so close, so he probably felt that. might even be able to feel the way his heartbeat speeds up a little. there's not a lot in gladio's life that can make him nervous, but this...kind of is. not for any other reason than he doesn't want to ruin the friendship they do have by making things weird. if prompto doesn't feel the same way, he'd let gladio down in as nice of a way as he possibly could, then pretend everything was fine while still feeling terribly awkward.

that's really not something gladio wants to put up with.

but. if something happens to one of them and they're actually next, gladio wants to be sure prompto knows exactly how he feels. it's the right thing to do. he thinks.

astrals, he hopes so. )

I don't know if one of us will be next, but I don't want to forget any of it, either. Prompto, I wanna tell you something and I want you to know it just in case something happens. Whatever's going on between us stopped being just fooling around to me. You're more than just filling in those stupid squares on that card. Don't have to feel the same way and I'm not pushing you into anything. But...

( he trails off with a roll of a shrug. this isn't the greatest of confessions and he feels so fucking dumb lmao. )

Just wanted you to know that I'm into you. As more than a friend. And, if one of us goes home, I don't want you thinking that's all it's been to me.

[ the comment about noct makes him smile, causes his heart to ache, but the rest of it...

no, no, no.

he can't. he couldn't. could he? prompto's pulse is racing, pounding so fast that it almost gives him vertigo laying down, and he has to push himself up onto an elbow, unsure if he's going to pass out or be sick. no one's ever said those kind of things to him before. usually, he's the one crushing in silence or obsessively stalking whoever in an attempt to get them to notice him without being incredibly forward, and he's certainly not having regular sex with them. of course, all that had gone out the window after the first couple of times he'd been with gladio, and... it's hard untangling himself from gladio when all he wants is to press even closer and never move. yet, he does, and he rolls to the side of the bed, shoulders hunched forward so he can press his hands to his eyes.

he has to think of something to say. anything. tell him the truth, maybe. that's all prompto wants, but he's so scared that he's just going to wake up and find this to be some sort of crazy dream. he'll be back in eos at some campsite, shivering in his sleeping bag and lovesick over gladio from something his brain decided to do to him because it's stupid and cruel. he's just waiting for it, struggling to breathe, and oh — it's happening. he's freaking out. his chest is going to explode. ]

I can't –

[ he chokes on the words, scrambling to get to the edge of the bed so he can get up, but his legs are made of jelly. this is too much, and for a second, his visions swims like he's really going to faint.

he waits for it, but it crashes over him like a wave instead, the breath rushing through him as his lungs finally expand. and he's crying. it's quiet, shoulders shaking as the tears wet his face and palms, and the gasping sounds he makes are so soft that it probably doesn't seem quite right, head throbbing and everything else aching. he loses his best friend, and then the one person he likes says all those things to him? it's too much, and he feels stupid for reacting like this. but it's not like he can control it, trying to wipe it away before he looks even more like the loser that he is. ]

You – [ ah, he sounds even worse than he did before. ] You really mean that? 'Cause I... I like you too. Like, um, like like, y'know? I just never felt like I could tell you because... [ i'm not that great, you deserve better. gladio wouldn't stand for hearing that out of him. ] I dunno. It never seemed like a good time, I guess. [ the pressure slowly starts to ease out of him, and prompto risks peeking at gladio through his fingers. ] Sorry. I'm sorry I didn't say somethin' sooner.

[ ... and for almost losing it. ]

( oh.

shit.

he shouldn't have said anything. this was a mistake. he thought it might've been a good thing! and now prompto's--

yeah, he's definitely freaking out. fuck. shit, shit, shit. he didn't mean to make this whole thing worse! he should've just kept his mouth shut. when prompto pulls away, gladio sits up. he doesn't know if he should reach for him or just go back to his own room. probably go back to his room. being here will just make things so much worse. well, not that they could get much worse. he made prompto cry over this. gladio's pretty sure he's never felt like this much of a dick before in his life. and he's done some pretty wildly asshole-ish kind of things in his life.

he needs to get out of here before things are irreparably broken between them. gladio swings his legs over the other side of the bed, nearly ready to push himself up and off when --

oh.

oh.

he turns back toward prompto, unsure of what to do. the small silence that follows the 'because' is easy to fill. gladio knows prompto pretty good by now. he knows those insecurities linger in there. he knows he doesn't think he's worth anything. but, gladio thinks he is. even before they started doing all this other stuff. all he can do is sigh softly and rub his eyes. )

Hey, hey...don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about. It's not like I was on the ball with saying anything, either.

( it takes a second or two, but gladio rearranges himself back on the bed, propped up a little on the pillows and headboard. he holds his arm out, indicating he wants prompto to fit himself right into that space. they both know he fits so well there. no point in trying to deny it. a soft look settles on his face, one that he's really only ever given to prompto -- even if it's something neither one of them realize. )

C'mere.

[ he's unaware that gladio intended to leave, and it's better that way, looking at him now and trying to get his brain - and his heart - to calm down. it's like everything inside him is flipping over itself, and nothing is making sense. none of it. even if gladio had said he'd liked him before, he would have just laughed it off as a joke, but no one's laughing now. he's completely serious, and prompto can see it on his face when he looks at him, wiping at his eyes with his arm in an attempt to get the tears under control. they still water a little, but it's easier to just give in and go to him.

so, he crawls over the bed and presses right against him the way he'd wanted to at the beginning.

maybe this changes a lot of things, and he wants to ask if it does. if they're still going to have to sleep with other people while they're here or if this is an exclusive thing. he wants it to just be them, and in the real world, maybe it could have been. he could have had gladio to himself and nothing would have come between them; even the stuff with noct wouldn't have mattered because he'd be there right beside both of them. the thought causes his heart to clench painfully, and there's a low whine in the back of his throat, trying to swallow it down so he can speak. ]

Um... [ he clears his throat a little, fingers curling into the edge of gladio's shirt. might as well confess all the way while they're doing this. ] I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much before. It's kinda scary.

( eventually, they'll work out all the kinks between them. gladio isn't keen on sharing, so. that'll be a topic that's definitely covered. but, not right away. before their personal ground rules come out, they need to talk about other things. and, gladio needs to figure out how to get prompto to calm down. comforting really isn't one of his major skills (he could literally go cleave a tree in half rather than be a comforting presence. why can't he do that???), but he knows he needs to try.

there's some measure of relief when prompto finally comes over to him, and gladio doesn't hesitate to wrap him up in his arms. for a few seconds anyone. he does wind up lifting a hand up to brush his thumb beneath prompto's eyes, wiping away any stray tears that might leak out. then, before he can second guess the idea, he presses a soft kiss against prompto's forehead. )

Yeah, it can be kind of scary, I guess.

( there are scarier things, though. at least as far as gladio's concerned. he falls silent for a few moments, obvious that he's thinking over what to say next because he's not done. his hand drifts down to rest at prompto's hip, then thigh. )

But, you're not doing it alone.

( because, gladio will be right here beside him along the way. he makes a small noise in the back of his throat, almost as if an idea hits him. it's probably lame, but he's going to do it anyway. reaching up, he pulls his necklace off and slips it right over prompto's head. not the easiest task to do with only one hand, but he's gladio. he does just fine. once it's settled around his neck, he tugs it a little before looking at him. )

I'll be right here with you. Alright?

( because, this just means that even if he's not there physically, prompto should remember that he'll always be there, no matter what. )

[ this time, the touch is comforting, and prompto leans into it.

he's always liked the feel of gladio's hands, that bit of roughness and strength sort of sweeping over his skin, and he hums, ready to agree to just about anything he says. now that he's sort of done freaking out, the good feelings are starting to take over, making him warm and happy and just a little crazy ecstatic in a way he's never really experienced before. sure, there have been times he's practically grinned his cheeks off his face, but... there's just something warm and sweet about all of this that he doesn't know what to name. acceptance? love? it's definitely way too early for something like that.

yet... his heart starts to beat furiously again when gladio slips that necklace over his head, and he blushes before he can stop it, dropping his eyes to look anywhere but gladio's face. it's kind of hard to avoid him when he's staring directly at him, and he only manages it for a second or two, lifting a hand to finger the pendant. ]

Yeah. [ it's hushed, ever so soft under his breath, and when he braves letting their eyes meet, his expression is wide-open. vulnerable. ] Yeah, okay. We've got each other, huh? I've got you. [ in retrospect, it's definitely a strange thing to say, but it's also very much the truth. prompto doesn't know how he's even managed it, stopping himself before he questions it too much, and he grasps at gladio's wrist, leaning forward so he can press a soft kiss to his mouth. ] I've really got you...

[ he's sort of amazed, repeating it quietly against his mouth just before kissing him again. ]

( it's almost funny in a way gladio doesn't understand how cute prompto is. before they got here, it was a passing thought, sure. he's cute in that happy sort of way that an excitable puppy is. but, now there's a whole new meaning to the word cute and gladio's kind of at a loss. there's a sweet sort of tenderness in this moment that gladio is definitely not used to.

he likes it, though, so it's not a complaint.

he murmurs a quiet agreement, not really forming any sort of words. they do have each other -- even if it could be said they had each other before they got here. it's the four of them against the world. they might have their disagreements from time to time (mostly he and noct, lbr), but they're there for one another. that's irrefutable fact. this, though, is different. and, honestly? gladio wouldn't have it any other way.

this time, he's ready for that second kiss that connects, so he leans more into it, makes it deeper. maybe he shouldn't take the liberty after all that's just happened. but, he also can't help himself because he really wants that right now. he does break away before it's taken too far, and he rests his forehead against prompto's for just a brief second, pulling back so he can look at him a little better. )

Yeah, you got me. ( his hand comes back up to cup the side of prompto's cheek. ) Just like I've got you.

[ it's everything he wanted and so much more than that too. the tension that had plagued him is beginning to ease, the reassurance of gladio's presence sinking into his bones and winding its way around his heart. if he was smarter, he'd know that this was kind of dangerous. what if gladio changed his mind later on down the road? what if he decided he didn't like him anymore and just... moved on? prompto doesn't think he could take that sort of heartbreak right now, and he's not even really thinking about it. not when he's so tangled up in that comforting feeling that's doing its hardest to cancel out the fact noct is gone. so, he doesn't focus on any of that for once.

instead, he takes a second to breathe, nudging him with his nose, and then, he looks at him.

gladio is... something. a strength to lean on, a fearsome storm nearly impossible to weather at times. but prompto also sees a man always intent on doing the right thing, the difficult thing. they've both lost so much, and this is the first time he's really considered that and what it might mean beyond the superficial of having no home to go back to. what it's eventually going to do to both of them. his fingers tangle around the necklace, desperate to ask and wondering if it's something he should bring up. he debates over it even as he watches him, his heart melting and flipping over itself each time their eyes meet, and when his lips part, the question that leaves him isn't the one he expects at all. ]

Does this mean we're, like, together now?

[ there's no time to backtrack, only trying to keep the awkwardness out of it by smiling and not forcing a strained laugh. ]

( this time, gladio's not even thinking ahead. no thoughts of the future and what may or may not happen between them plague him. maybe later they might, once he's alone again and he darker thoughts around this creep in. but, he's not going to dwell on it then, either. why bother? they have the time with each other now. gladio's very intent on enjoying that to the best of his abilities.

when prompto finally looks at him, not flitting away or peeking through his fingers, gladio looks at him right back. there's not a stitch of embarrassment over anything, he just waits for prompto to get to whatever point he's trying to get to. because he knows there's got to be something coming. he might not know exactly what that is yet, but he figures something must be coming. especially when he starts fiddling with the necklace. when it comes to prompto, gladio can't ever predict what might come out of his mouth -- he's blurted out enough random things that have left gladio scratching his head. but, he'll let him work it out. in the mean time, his hand wanders to just touch prompto anywhere, everywhere he can comfortably reach. just a smoothing of his palm over his side and leg, tracing the tips of his fingers over the sharper edges.

the question finally surfaces and gladio can't help but laugh a little bit. it's a legitimate question, of course. can't really just assume something like that, even after point blank stating your feelings. )

Yeah. I mean, as long as that's what you want, too.

[ it's still a little strange hearing someone ask what he wants, but he should be used to this by now, especially with gladio and the others. they care, they're friends, and more than that, he's wanted. the feeling is something he's probably never going to really get used to. ]

I wanna be with you. [ he thinks. he hopes that insecurity doesn't come out in his voice. ] You're really cool, y'know? I always have fun when we do stuff together and not just, uh, that kinda stuff either. I really... [ prompto pauses, closing his eyes to try to sort through everything in his head. ] I want to try.

[ and he's going to put so much effort into it that gladio won't even question how he feels. he'll do his best to be honest with him and share things with him and all those other things that people who are together do. it's not like he has the experience, but he doesn't think it matters right now. it has to be different with everyone anyway, and he hums to himself, snuggling even closer to him and nuzzling into that spot just below his jaw. at least the familiarity of this calms him down, and he's so emotionally drained that even thinking about other things isn't on his radar. he just wants to cuddle with gladio and maybe fall asleep like this. ]

Thanks. [ it's a thoughtful murmur, kissing underneath his chin. ]

( he doesn't want to look at noct leaving like it's a good thing. he won't. it's still too much tied to himself and his selfish feelings. but, if any good could come of it, it's this. if noct hadn't left, who knows how long this might've stretched out with neither one of them saying anything. (which probably would've been forever or until gadio saw something he didn't like and wound up getting jealous, then blurting out his feelings angrily.)

anyway. it's not like gladio has loads of experience to boast about when it comes to relationships. with his job, he's kept everyone at arm's length because they just...don't get that noct will always come first. sometimes, during his low points, he wonders if he even gets it. but, someone like prompto would understand. gladio's pretty sure he'd always come second to noct, too. and that's alright. gladio knows how important that friendship is to both of them and how much it's needed.

when prompto finally settles, gladio gets himself more comfortable too though does his best to not jostle him too much. another quiet laugh works it's way free and he shakes his head in disbelief. gladio pulls back a bit, lifts a hand to prompto's chin to make sure they're looking at each other. prompto doesn't have to meet his eyes, but it's definitely what gladio wants. )

There's nothing to thank me for. That just makes it sound like I'm doing you a favor, and I'm not. Not about ( he lets go to gesture between them. ) this. Got it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ic inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject