burstmodes | ( ic contact ) / duplicity

yeah, okay
i can't wait to see you either 😊

( ah. it just doesn't feel right and she erases everything three different times before ultimately sending it through as it was. there's a long moment after where she just sits, staring off and wondering if she was doing the right thing. in the end, she stands and goes to pull her boots and beanie on.

it isn't long after that she arrives, knocking first before entering with a small peek and softer smile. )

... Prompto, hey.

[ he's in the middle of testing a new filter on the device when he hears her open the door, tilting his head to the side to catch a glimpse of her face, and the smile prompto gives her brightens his expression considerably, rolling a little so he's on his feet and going to meet her. what was the point of not answering the door again? he isn't sure what to say exactly, but he does muster up the courage to take her hand and draw her to the sofa. ]

Hey. [ and once they're sitting: ] You okay? I mean, not that I think anything's wrong, but... [ he lifts his shoulder in a helpless shrug. ]

( she tries to match his smile in return but it's obviously faltering in some regard to her usual bright, cheery expression. she doesn't pull away though once he takes her hand and follows him back to the sofa without a word. it's only once their sitting that she seems to relax, leaning into him slightly. )

Wrong? I don't think so. ( she can't say how many times she'd ran diagnostic tests just in case. that would... it would just be weird and she's already being weird enough. ) I guess I'm just thinking too much. I guess that happens when you have too much time on your hands.

[ more than anything, he understands where she's coming from. at first, when he'd arrived, it hadn't been that unusual to think about things randomly, but now, after having gone home and then returning again, he's found his thoughts a lot heavier and unnecessarily sad. it's not like any of that had changed him too much; it's just a lot to cope with when he doesn't feel like himself or a person deserving of all the things he'd momentarily left behind.

there's a shake of his head this time, leaning back into her as he gives her fingers a gentle squeeze. ]

I don't think there's a whole lot you're supposed to do here, you know? They just want us to follow all their rules and do stuff with each other. [ he still feels like a kid because he can't say the word sex. there's a soft pause as he exhales and just goes for it. ] But, um, anything I can help with?

Yeah, I guess so. ( she murmurs, gaze drawn to their hands as he gives her fingers the soft squeeze. ) But sometimes I find myself doing something and I just... I think about how I used to be like before I broke my programming. Sometimes I expect to hear Todd yelling at me.

( which she hates more than anything; todd's voice is so clear that it drowns out the sound of alice's voice and it hurts. gently, she squeezes his hand and exhales a shaky breath of air. )

You being here with me right now is helping me. I... um, I always feel better with you.

[ there's the slightest squint at that. ]

I don't think you've said that name before. Who's he? [ is that a good question to ask? he knows about alice, of course. prompto knows how much kara loves her and what she would do for her, and maybe, one day, he could meet her and scoop her up into a hug. until then, all he's got are kara's words and memories to go on. so, he decides to backtrack a little because of the way she breathes and clutches at his hand. ] Nah, never mind. You don't have to tell me about that right now. I guess... I'm just glad I can do this for you. You know, since you helped me before.

[ it's not that he thinks it's a fair trade or anything like that. he just likes spending time with kara and feels comfortable with her. ]

( there's a long silence on her part after the question, even when he takes it back there is still silence before she takes in another short breath and shakes her head. )

It's fine, I want you to know. They're not exactly good memories though but it's a part of me. ( to say the least... )

Todd was Alice's father and the man who owned me, he wasn't... a good person. He's the reason I don't have any memories of anything before my last reboot. ( she scrunches her nose, sniffling. ) He said I was hit by a car. Can you imagine? Hurting someone, even someone that's not human, bad enough that such a story is believable but my life wasn't exactly uncommon. We're not human, we don't really feel pain so it was okay.

Edited 2019-05-27 00:50 (UTC)

[ at first, prompto just tries to swallow the things she says like they're a fact. because they are, things that they can't change because that's what happened, but then... then, it just gets worse, and he turns a little more to look at her, his own expression scrunching up. ]

But it's... that's not okay. [ and he knows she knows that, he hopes, but it doesn't matter because he has to say it. ] Stuff like that isn't something people should do. Not to you or – [ a shake of his head. he's getting worked up over something he can't change, and carefully, he turns so he can grip both of her hands instead of just one. ] You're one of the best and coolest and prettiest people I've ever met. [ okay, no. that last one isn't important. ] And it doesn't matter to me that you weren't born human. I... you're just as human as anyone I know.

[ prompto breathes, following instinct. ] You're amazing, Kara, and I'm sorry that happened to you.

( once more there is silence as she listens but she is, thankfully, pulled free of any lingering, darker thoughts as he turns to take both of her hands into his own and she finds herself turning to look at him with a somber expression. )

No... it isn't okay but I'm not sad anymore that it happened. I've learned from it, I've tried to better myself because of it. ( the idea of humanity, of being human is still a confusing process of hurdles to overcome. still, at least she knows that she doesn't want to be like todd. ) And you've helped me so much. Maybe that's why I like you so much.

( she sighs and leans in to press their foreheads together and allowing herself to enjoy the closeness. enjoy the peace it brings over her. ) You're amazing too, you know. I really do feel human when I'm with you.

[ he doesn't know what to expect, but it's certainly not something like that. she likes him? that's not something he should be dwelling so heavily on, he knows, and yet, his thoughts continue to drift towards those words until she leans into his space and rests her forehead against his. then, it sort of drifts away into an ease that settles the flare of anxiety that's slowly building in his chest. even if this feels incredibly dangerous, how could he resist her? ]

I – [ he has to remember to breathe, and it's like a whisper. ] I like you too. I like all the stuff we do together, and you're... you make me feel like I could do pretty much anything. [ and even if it's selfish: ] I'm kinda glad you're here.

( he's glad that she's here. there's a part of kara that wonders if she should be happy to hear those words. yet, despite that part of herself, she can't deny the warmth that blossoms in her chest at the words. can't deny the happiness that helps to smother down the worries and the fears as she grips at his hands. she's sure her heart is beating so loud and fast now that even prompto could hear it. )

I'm glad I met you. I'm glad you came back. ( she says, voice a bit shaky. ) And I want to stay with you for as long as I can. Is that... is that okay to ask?

[ he squeezes his eyes shut, hating how indecisive he suddenly feels about all this. it's not his feelings he questions but this place. it could take everything they have away from them without a second thought, and... prompto doesn't know if he can do that again. he doesn't know if he can do that to kara either. still — ]

Yeah, me too. I just... [ the terror he feels in those few seconds is unreal. ] I wanna stay with you too, but this place is – I don't know what I'd do if I lost you because of the way stuff is here. Or if you had to go through that... [ he breathes softly, his own heart racing just as loud and fast. ] But I guess that's the whole risk you take being with someone, huh?

( it's not hard to think about. after all, not long ago she was convinced that she might not see him again or, if she did, that he might not remember her. it's a thought that lurks in the back of her mind and she can't help but swallow harshly as he speaks.

he's right, she knows this. still she can't help the flush of color that floods her features as he finishes. in the end, she can't help but chuckle with a slight shake of her head. )

I don't know, I've never been with someone before. ( surprise. ) But I'd like to see where it might take us.

[ prompto forces himself to take a breath, drawing back long enough to look at her. surprisingly, he's not embarrassed to be having this conversation with her. his cheeks aren't red, like they usually would be, but there is a sadness behind his eyes that almost threatens to overtake the way he smiles at her. soft, sweet, understanding. he wants to reassure her, but it's kind of like making a contract too; there are things they definitely need to talk about. ]

Well, it's not all that different than the kinda stuff we do now. But, um... [ he bites at his bottom lip. ] Does that mean you just wanna be with me or – I dunno. This is so awkward. [ his own chuckle is nervous. ] Being here makes it really hard for that kind of thing, like, all the time.

( the sadness lingering in his gaze is hard to miss. it's a subtle but notable difference from the usual and she doesn't know how to help make it better or if pressing this is just making it all the worse. with another shake of her head, she tilts her head up and presses a small, feather-light kiss against his forehead. )

Then I don't think anything has to change. I know how... ( she breathes in, humming in thought and considers her words. ) I know how difficult this place would make something like that. It wouldn't be, um, fair to either of us trying to do something like that, I think.

( hmm. this is a little on the side of confusing for her. ) We can still be together but... well, nothing change, right?

[ he doesn't really know how it's supposed to work either, honestly. if he hadn't been here and he'd met kara somewhere else, there wouldn't be any question as to what he wanted with her. but with everything that happens in the city, prompto knows she's right; it wouldn't be fair to either of them. faithfulness is such a tricky concept in a place like this, and he appreciates her trying to figure it out. this is why he likes being with her so much, he thinks. among other things. ]

We can still be together, but we talk to each other about stuff? Like, about anything? [ it'll be harder because they're both dominants, so it's not like they could ever be with each other that way either. ] I think we can figure it out as long as we do that. [ which is pretty optimistic, all things considered, and because they're so close from when she'd kissed his forehead, prompto leans in to kiss her cheek. ] What do you think?

[ it's a small compromise, but he had faith they'd work it all out. ]

( most of her current memories are of duplicity. back home, it was barely a weekend's worth of event and it feels like her newness to, well... everything leaves her awkwardly floating out at sea. yet prompto makes it sound easy, well easier and she nods with a happy hum coming from her throat at the kiss to her cheek. )

I think that sounds like a good place because, you're right, as long as we can talk to one another it should be fine. ( she seems terribly pleased anyway. ) And I'm sure there's little things we can do for one another to make things special.

[ admittedly, he's not the best at talking about things, but he does try if it's important. prompto thinks kara is important, and he wants to prove that he can be someone she can rely on despite the circumstances they have to deal with every day in the city. and so, this time, when he draws back to look at her, there's a faint blush staining his cheeks. ]

Cool. [ wow, he sounds like a dork. ] I mean, yeah. Yeah. It'll be really fun. I've never – [ how does he explain this without sound like a complete idiot? he ducks his head a little in an attempt to collect his thoughts. ] This is the first time I've ever really, um, been with anyone. Like this.

( in turn, she gives him a smile in its more familiar brightness and gives his hands a soft squeeze. if anything, she wants to prove that she can also be someone that he can rely on if needed despite all the strange that has become their everyday here in the city. it's nice to see the flush of color to his face though and chuckles, clearly happy. )

Then I guess we'll both be learning as we go along. ( she glances off briefly, considering her thoughts before leaning in again and placing a soft, chaste kiss against his lips. ) But I think we'll be just fine, we'll figure it out together.

( ic contact ) / duplicity

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