burstmodes | ic contact ( prismatica )

Well I hadn’t had the thought before.
At least not to the point where I feel like I have to know if it’s true.
If you do, I wouldn’t be upset. I just want to know. I don’t want to feel left in the dark about things.
Not these things.

you didn't have the thought before but you're having now?

[ Shit, he didn't mean to type that. Now he's frustrated with himself. ]

i know you nero
you'd be upset or you'd do stuff like this
i really don't know what you want from me

[ ... he didn't mean to type that either, but oh well. There it is. ]

Sorry for not dismissing it as a stupid stray thought now that we’ve agreed to add a whole other person to our relationship.
Which, by the way is fine if that’s what you really want. I promise. We can make it work if you think it can.
You said you’re doing it to make me happy, but I was already happy with you. I want you to know that, and I guess I wanted to know that you were happy with me too.

Which is fucked up to ask now that I’m typing it..

I’m sorry. I don’t think I know what I want either.

Edited 2020-03-09 15:42 (UTC)

i know that
but i also know how you feel about v and obviously he feels something for you
i never thought about it as needing it to be happier cuz i thought we were already
it's just... i dunno
more?

[ That last part though... it really hurts, and now he's upset about a text that probably wouldn't have meant as much if they'd been talking about this in person. ]

maybe you should figure that out

I know that.
Well, I should know that.

[He looks at that last message for a while, not knowing how to respond at first. It’s hard to tell if Prompto is annoyed, upset, or something else just via text on a small screen.]

I’m sorry. I’ll take a few days and try to figure my shit out. It’s not fair that I keep throwing it at you and expecting you to make everything better for me.

[He starts to type “love you” but decides against it. Putting anyone else on the emotional roller coaster ride he’s on is shitty. They’d talk about it later.]

i never thought about it like that
but you CAN talk to me
i can't really tell if you're mad at me or v or yourself or maybe all three

i'm here if you need me though

[ Which is saying a lot considering how upset he is about all of this, maybe a little confused too, but... this kind of thing is a lot to get used to. Maybe he'd just figured it would be easy since he thought this was really what Nero had wanted. ]

[Talking to Prompto tended to help just about all the time. Too bad he felt like a complete downer and burden every time he had to talk about anything bothering him. Probably doesn’t help that he’s so aggressive about it either.

So in general he’s feeling pretty crappy for a few hours before he responds. No matter how mad at himself he is, there’s no way he can avoid someone he lived with for very long. Sure he’s ashamed of himself but it’s not enough to keep him from trying to make sure Prompto knows that he knows what he wants when it comes to him.]

Where are you? We should talk about this in person.
I don’t like how this feels...

[ And in that span of a few hours, when it's clear that Nero isn't going to message him back, Prompto... well. He sorts through all of their things and cleans their apartment. He'd never been particular about it, not so much a neat freak either, but the moving helps burn off the anxiety that comes from wanting to obsessively check his phone. Then, when he's done with that and still feels as if he has more energy to expend, he changes into some yoga pants and a light jacket to run.

He's in the middle of cooling down when he gets those alerts and frowns at the messages. ]

level 2 somewhere
went for a run
i'll head back to our place if you wanna meet me

Yeah, I’ll meet you there.

[He grabs a cheeseburger and fries to go as something of a peace offering before heading back to their place. On the way he formulates and rejects at least a dozen ways to apologize, but when he’s actually letting himself inside he’s no closer to knowing what he’ll say than when he left.]

You here yet? I brought you some food.

[ Prompto doesn't respond, deciding to take his time getting back, but even that doesn't have him losing to Nero, wandering into the kitchen for water as he sits and tries to catch his breath. He's sweaty, in definite need of a shower, and yet, he doesn't move from his seat even when he hears the door open and Nero's voice echo through their place.

This is such a stupid thing to be upset about; he doesn't even know why this is happening. ]

Yeah, in here. [ He calls out, taking another drink and making an effort to joke. ] Something light I hope...

Have you ever known me to do anything lightly?

[He puts the paper bag onto Prompro’s lap and takes a seat right next to him. Nero’s not bothered by sweat in the least. Especially not when he has something important he desperately wants to say.]

When I said I didn’t know what I wanted.. I wanted to make it clear that I want you. I always have and that won’t change. My brain just goes to weird places and I have a hard time seeing the obvious. I know you were happy with me. I shouldn’t have questioned that.

[He has a lot of buts and howevers, but this wasn’t the time for them. His insecurities shouldn’t have been the kindling to the fire of his baseless assumptions.]

Anyway, I was wrong, and an asshole. So I’m sorry..

[ Ah... there it is. Prompto exhales, moving the bag to plop it on the counter next to his water. At least they're talking about this and not letting it build and build between them so that it eventually cascaded and affected V too. A shake of his head, and he's on his feet to press into Nero's personal space, sliding his arms around his shoulders.

Yeah, sorry, he's pretty sweaty, but he's going to kiss him anyway. ]

I never thought that you didn't want me. I think... I guess I thought this thing with V would've been something you'd really wanna explore and not get worked up about. [ He kisses the corner of his mouth. ] If you need some time to think about it, I'll talk to V.

[ It's the least he could do, fingers raking through Nero's hair. ]

I'm sorry too.

[Nero's personal space is half Prompto's as far as he's concerned. He doesn't mind the closeness at all, but he's more aware of the sweat now that Prompto is this close. Doesn't make him any less willing to pull his boyfriend onto his lap, though.]

I think it sounds good on paper, but I don't know if I'm worth the trouble of it all. [Which is not to say he doesn't want to try. He just doesn't know if he's mentally strong enough to manage. The last thing he wants to do is ruin his friendship with V or whatever there might be between V and Prompto. It was painful to admit, but it might save him from ruining it for other people.]

Yeah. I have to think about a lot of things. I want to try for you, but if this isn't for you then I'm not so sure.

[Prompto's apology takes his from the track he was going down, but he interrupts to shake his head.] No, it's fine. There's not really anything you need to be sorry about.

[ Is this what it's like to deal with him when he's insecure? Prompto isn't exactly sure it's that though, sliding into Nero's lap and resting his forehead on his shoulder for a moment. He needs to think too, especially since his run hadn't solved anything, and he leans into him, listening to the sound of his voice. ]

You should try for you too. And it's not a set in stone thing anyway. You know that, right? [ Prompto shifts to look at Nero. ] If it doesn't work out, then we'll deal with that when it happens. It's just about having fun and seeing where it goes. [ A soft kiss, and their noses bump. ] Anything else you wanna get off your chest?

[ His fingers slip down, lightly playing with the collar of Nero's shirt. ]

I mean, if there's other stuff bothering you...

[It's not anything like that!! Then again Nero is a little obsessed with his boyfriend if he's honest with himself. So the moments when Prompto feels insecure it makes him feel needed to be able to help him. Or to be depended on in any way, really.

On the other hand when he's being insecure, he clearly has a tendency to say things that would easily hurt the feelings of the person that's both stated and proven that his presumptions are categorically false. Nero's brain was just in need of retraining.]

Yeah, I know. [He tilts his head back a little when Prompto kisses him, closing his eyes for a moment. There is a lot on his mind, but it's all stuff he has to think through on his own. His hands run along his boyfriend's thighs for a moment before he shakes his head and takes off his shirt.]

I just get weird when I think I might lose you. Do you forgive me? [When he's shirtless and their faces are this close, it's very obviously a loaded question.]

[ Honestly, Prompto has no idea what's even happening right now, squirming a little in Nero's lap with those touches and wondering if he should protest Nero stripping him out of his shirt. He's sitting in his lap in nothing but a thin pair of yoga pants and socks, and he's asking about forgiveness? Loaded question or not, Prompto just stays still and looks at him. ]

Who're you gonna lose me to? This isn't just a me and V thing. It's an all of us thing. [ He gently pokes his chest, shifting forward to kiss the other side of his mouth. ] That means you too.

[ There's a low sigh. ]

But it's okay. I'm not mad at you or anything. [ So yes, he's forgiven. ]

[If Prompto did protest, Nero would stop, no questions asked. After all the energy between them not so long ago was turbulent at least. His hands feel that his boyfriend's body is still a little sweaty when there's no shirt in the way. When it takes a moment for him to respond to the question, Nero pauses, dabbing at the blond's chest and shoulders like he's only thinking about getting his sweat off. It's probably the best option to save face if it turns out he's not into it at the moment.]

I think I'm just slow... My brain still wants to think of him as competition. Even if that's an outdated feeling. I think it's gonna take time to replace that with new, less insecure, good things. I mean, there's other good things too--I still like him. I just.. [He shakes his head, not knowing if he's even making sense until Prompto kisses him.]

Not at all? [Nero asks, making sure because the next thing he does is pull off his own shirt before drawing his boyfriend into another kiss.] I've never done this three person thing before.

[ Prompto shrugs, leaning into his hand as he wipes the sweat off and paying more attention to the words than the actual motion. At least for now. ]

I've never done it either. I think the biggest thing is trying to trust each other and talk about it though. And sure, I have feelings for V [ and a lot of other people ] but I also care about you too, Nero. A lot. [ Prompto sinks into the kiss for a moment, shifting to press a little closer, and if he wasn't so used to Nero's antics in trying to get him casually naked, he'd probably be worried. ] So – try not to let it get to you too much, okay? I don't think we wanna hurt each other doing this.

[ That's the impression he'd gotten from V when they'd spoken alone and together, which is what he hopes Nero comes away with. But for now, Prompto gives in and slides his arms around him, straddling him so he can press his knees into the outer side of Nero's thighs. He kisses his neck and shoulder, along his collarbone to the other shoulder and nuzzles into him. ]

[Hearing that Prompto has feelings for V doesn't surprise him at all even if it was technically the first time he's actually said so in conversation. Nero came to that conclusion long before based on a lot of little things he'd picked up on in Duplicity and here when they learned that V also existed in this place. So it doesn't trouble him.]

A lot? Hm. [He knows pushing any further would risk them getting back into an argument again so he holds back from asking if Prompto cares for him the most. It seems childish to want to know, so he refrains despite himself.] Yeah, I'll try. [Nero nods in agreement, maybe just quickly wanting to leave that whole conversation behind them in favor of other things.]

I wouldn't have agreed to any of it if I thought we wanted to hurt each other intentionally. It's the unintentional backlash that's dangerous. I think it'll be fine once we get used to each other like this.

[The very moment Prompto seems to give in and press closer, Nero drops the topic like a hot potato and his hands grab at the blond's ass while he rocks up against him with urgency that might make sense now that Prompto could likely feel the beginnings of his arousal. He can't really explain it. It would sound crazy. "I'm sorry, I just love you so much that the thought of not losing you turned me on." Yeah, he'll keep that to himself too.]

[ If he didn't care about him the most, would they even be together like this? Prompto never thinks about those things though, figuring that actions should always peak louder than words, and it's why whatever response he has to what Nero's saying is cut short, feeling that hardness against him and humming a soft sound in the back of his throat. They really should talk more about all of this, not just fool around in their kitchen like it's another day of the week, but... Maybe this is what they both need after all the stress of the last forty-eight hours, grinding back against him as his arms tighten around him. ]

Should I show you how much I like you?

[ It's very obviously a tease, nipping at Nero's bottom lip and kissing at his jaw. Down his neck, and he lets his teeth lightly scrape over his collarbone. Prompto shifts, sliding his palm between them and working open Nero's pants in an attempt to get his hand on him.

Would a blowjob fix everything? Doubtful, but at least it'd be a fun way to relax, which is exactly what Prompto wants. ]

[The more he comes to realize his insecurity, the easier it'll become to swat it away when it chooses to bubble up again. At least that's what he's hoping for. All he knows for sure in the moment is that he loves the man on his lap more than anything, and the last thing he'd want is to lose him or push him away.

So he pulls him closer until he's got lips on his, then his neck. It's all enough for him to forget that they're still in the kitchen.]

Show me, so I don't forget again. [He jokes right back, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile even before Prompto's hand takes him. Nero shifts his legs a bit further apart so its easier, never one to shy away from his boyfriend's attention. He doesn't feel like he can give him the access he needs like this, so he undoes the front of his jeans and pushes them downward enough that they're out of the way. But yes, his bare ass is now on the kitchen chair.]

[ It might not be quite the same, but at least there's a little friction along his dick before Nero helps with his pants. Prompto glances down between them, watching his fingers slowly curl around that hardness, and he leans into Nero for a moment, breathing against his mouth. With the added heat of chroma, any kind of sex always feels a thousand times better than usual; it's a wonder they do anything else besides fuck all the time, if he's being honest. ]

Comin' right up. [ He grins, kissing him again. ] Or you will be, I guess.

[ It's stupid and he knows it, but he doesn't care, using his tongue to trace the definition of Nero's chest and whatever else he can before he has to slip off the chair and to the floor between his legs. On his knees like this, Prompto leans up to nuzzle his belly, fingers already working slowly over the length of him from tip to base, and he presses hot kisses to every inch of bare skin, dragging his lips down, down, down until he's sliding the cockhead into his mouth. He hums then, eyes closed and clearly enjoying it. If there's one thing about sex he could pick he feels he accels at, it would be oral, but that doesn't matter much to him right now, carefully working his way to taking as much of him in before he sucks. ]

[Nero thinks about sex often regardless of chroma, but he's always noticed that it's very easy for something as simple as massages or cuddling to turn into fucking at the drop of a dime. On one hand it's definitely the allure of moonlacing escalating softer casual moments, on the other at least he never has to worry about being poor or crystallization.

He hums in the affirmative at Prompto's comments, very easily slinking down a bit in the chair when the blond is on his knees right in front of him. Thankfully he never has to pick between what sort of thing he prefers with his boyfriend because he's sure as hell not able to pick. The gunner is far too good with his mouth to make it an easy choice.

With his breathing becoming a little less steady once Prompto's mouth is on his cock, Nero lets his eyes close for a few seconds. He feels a weird sense of calm wash over him, if he's being cheesy it's probably the love he feels for his boyfriend. With eyes still closed he runs his hand over blond hair encouragingly as he groans, hips pushing upward from his seat to feel more of that warm wetness around him.]

When you're done here, can I interest you in a ride? It's free for cute blonds with freckles named Prompto Argentum.

[ Things that are not good to do: laugh with your mouth full of cock.

Things that Prompto does: laughs with his mouth full of cock.

He does choke a little, but nothing serious enough that he can't recover, trying to settle the chuckle that bubbles in his chest as he pulls off of him and looks up at Nero, lips red and wet and cheeks burning with desire (and maybe a bit of embarrassment). It's not as if he couldn't say no to messing around in the kitchen, but they've done it enough times that it's no longer a weird thing, slowly putting his weight on Nero's thighs so he can pull himself up a little and kiss the corner of his mouth. ]

Lemme grab the lube first. Then you can show me what you've got.

[ A gentle poke to his belly, and he's reluctantly drawing away to make a mad dash for the living room. Not an easy task considering he's hard too, and it certainly shows given how thin those pants are. But he doesn't want a repeat of what had happened after telling Nero about Ardyn, even if it had felt good at the time to fuck without much prep. This time probably isn't going to be too different, but it's the illusion of control he doesn't mind, wiggling with surprising coordination out of the rest of his clothes so that he's naked by the time he returns victoriously with lube in-hand. ]

I think I was promised a ride. [ Said under his breath with a soft smile as he makes his way back to his boyfriend. ]

[Nero sees what's happening in slow motion and knows it won't end well but still doesn't manage to warn his boyfriend not to do exactly that until it's a little too late. The choking is already happening. He sits up straighter to look down at Prompto, wanting to make sure he was okay before openly laughing.

His laughter is kept at a light chuckle when Prompto pulls himself up to kiss him. He doesn't shy away from the kiss at all, and lewdly slips the younger man some tongue before they pull apart.]

Mm, I can wait. [He's not complaining because he thought he'd be the one having to run to grab the lube. Nero was noticing that access to it was much better in areas in the apartment that weren't the kitchen, but this (and skipping preparatory steps) was becoming a habit. Which is not to say he'd be against taking an extra moment or so to work Prompto open with his fingers, but going very slowly with lots of lube last time had worked out alright in the end.]

You're in luck, you're just tall enough to ride. [Nero jokes, taking the lube to hurriedly slather it over his cock, stroking himself slowly to spread it--not doing a great job with not toughing himself as he waits for Prompto to come closer, gesturing with his prosthetic hand to beckon him back onto his lap. He has serious doubts about the sturdiness of the chair he's on, or would if he'd give it any substantial amount of thought. Seems like an issue to worry about in the future, and not right this moment.

He helps Prompto onto him, rubbing his hole with the excess lube from his fingers, slipping just one inside him before guiding the blond to slowly lower onto his cock.] Fuck..you feel good.

ic contact ( prismatica )

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